Cluck Cluck

A woman I work with has two chooks in her inner-city backyard and she sometimes brings in cartons of eggs for us with stickers attached "with compliments of Laverne&Shirley". And they are great eggs - always so fresh with the brightest yellow yolks.

I'm going to need a few of those cartons to give Laverne&Shirley a run for their money. My scan this morning counted 43 follies, with the possibility of 20 eggs of around 17mm. Can I tell you how uncomfortable I am! But the good news is that I only have to hold out until Saturday for retrieval. We were expecting ER to be Monday, which I'm glad its not because DH's 18yo has a court appearance to get his learner drive permit back. But, thinking we had plenty of time we kind of, well, ahem, cleared the pipes last night. But the nurse said 3 days is better than 7. Imagine having a job where you had to ask people when they last had sex. Weird.

Anyway there's no going back now. What will be will be. Please send me sticky vibes, baby dust, good thoughts, prayers, whatever takes your fancy, I'll take all currencies.

Ovid.rel injection tonight then a drug-free day tomorrow (yay!).

Worried

I'm starting to get worried....

Worried that I will run out of Syn.arel and ovulate before egg retrieval
Worried that retrieval will fall on Monday when DH has made other plans
Worried that all the embryos will have chromosomal abnormalities and we'll have nothing to transfer
Worried that it won't work
Worried that it may work
Worried that we'll have another chemical pregnancy or miscarriage
Worried that I haven't done enough to ensure the success of this cycle
Worried that my future will be determined by something I have no control over

Stimming seems to be going well, I can certainly feel things growing. I have a date tomorrow with the dildo-cam, so will have a follie report and ER day by tomorrow afternoon.

PS: Congrats to the USA for making the brave choice! Now Mr Obama if you could just get on and fix the credit crisis we'd much appreciate it.

meme

Topcat suggested this meme might help take my mind off Tuesday, but I've only got around to it today. Melbagirl - consider yourself tagged!

1. Where is your cell phone? Beside me
2. Where is your significant other? Racing around on his ride-on mower (his favourite toy)
3. Your hair color? Brown
4. Your mother? Means well
5. Your father? Grumpy bastard
6. Your favorite thing? My i-pod
7. Your dream last night? Telling. My friend had a baby who I held so much it grew more attached to me than her
8. Your dream/goal? To find comfort and acceptance in whatever the future brings
9. The room you are in? Dining room
10. Your hobby? Blogging
11. Your fear? Spiders
12. Where do you want to be in six years? Happy and drug free
13. Where were you last night? Laughing at Ron in a Harry.Potter movie with Rose
14. What you're not? Bitter. Well its a work in progress....
15. One of your wish list items? New house
16. Where you grew up? Lots of tiny country towns
17. The last thing you did? Sniffed some more Synar.el
18. What are you wearing? Jeans, long sleeve t-shirt
19. Your T.V.? Corporate gift. Non-HD LCD. Ripped off!
20. Your pet? 2 cats ScaredyCat and SuperCat, 2 goats Mavis and Maude
21. Your computer? Finally free from 16yo boys looking at p.orn
22. Your mood? Slowly coming down after a stressful couple of weeks
23. Missing someone? Always my grandmother
24. Your car? Volvo SUV
25. Something you're not wearing? Shoes
26. Favorite store? Stationary shops
27. Your Summer? On its way!
28. Love someone? I adore my Darling Husband
29. Your favorite color? Red
30. When is the last time you laughed? Last night with Rose
31. Last time you cried? Major meltdown in the shower Wednesday morning

Benign!

Tuesday at the breast clinic was a surreal day. 4 hours in a room full of ladies my mothers age in dressing gowns. Four women touched my breasts, 3 of whom I wanted to punch in the face because they hurt me so much. (Not quite the male fantasy you were expecting hey googlers?)

Everyone could feel the lump but no cyst or anything else ominous was showing on the mammogram or ultrasound, so they sent me across the road to the hospital to see a specialist breast surgeon. She suggested it was a fatty tissue deposit most probably caused by the IVF meds. She did a needle biopsy and sent me home with a band-aid on my breast. Her office rang yesterday afternoon to say the tissue sample was benign fatty breast tissue. Yay! Today my breast is bruised black and blue, oh and a spash of red as a reaction to the band-aid. Boo!

I have to see the surgeon again in 3 months and the breast clinic in 12 months. But in the meantime I can continue with Cycle Number 13! First stim injection was last night, so we are off and racing.....

PS: the weekend away was fabulous. We ended up inviting some friends to stay Saturday night with us so it was a bit more boozy than relaxing but a lovely change of scenery all the same. I highly recommend Marks Restaurant in Lorne. Yum.

Tuesday's the day

I found a breast clinic who could fit me in next Tuesday for an ultrasound and mammogram. They said to leave 4 hours for the appointment as they do the assessment, diagnosis and treatment plan all at the same time. I have my baseline blood test Tuesday morning as well.

I rang my IVF nurse to let her know what was going on. She will speak to my doctor today and we will make the decision about my cycle after Tuesday. I refuse to worry about anything until then. I've been getting loads of headaches lately and spent most of yesterday in bed with a migraine, so DH is worrying enough for two anyway.

Thankfully, I had already booked a weekend away with my Darling Husband for this weekend. We leave tomorrow and come back Monday. The weather is meant to be warm so I envisage lots of romantic walks along the beach, relaxing, reading and eating. Our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to find the best restaurant on The Great Ocean Road.

What now?

I rang to make an appointment with my local doctor today. The receptionist said there were no appointments until next week which didn't surprise me, but when I mentioned what my problem was there was a sudden cancellation this very afternoon! I guess everything has its up side.

I have a lump in my left breast. Sigh.

The breast clinic the doctor referred me to has an 8 week waiting list. I will try another clinic tomorrow to see if they can get me in any earlier. I don't want to wait 8 weeks.

It's probably a cyst. Most lumps are benign cysts. I know that. But for fucks sake! Cysts in my ovaries, cysts in my breast. Is any part of my body any good? I hope this stupid headache behind my eye is a tumor, so we can just get it over with already.

Should I cancel this cycle? Would it make any difference?

Sniffing

I started syn.arel this morning. The monster headache has started already.

Psychosomatic I know.
What! You calling me a psycho?
Go away I'm not even talking to you.
Fine! I hate you!
Sorry, the bcp hormona-bitch keeps interrupting me. Thankfully pill stops Tuesday.
Why don't you like me anymore? Did I do something to upset you?
Just. Go. Away!

Ahhhhh. I can't believe I pay through the nose for these side effects.