Thursday, 20 September 2007

Mutterings of a mad woman

The Debutante Ball was worse than expected [amazing but true!]. DH and I were put on a table away from the kids, but that may have been a good thing considering the Screaming Banshee's loser boyfriend-from-hell was plying 14 year old Tiger with Bourbon! DH was fuming but handled himself well. It really bothers me that we have such little say in their lives, and I worry so much about what they are exposed to in that house.

Feeling a little unhinged lately. I worry about everything and feel life is out of my control. I cry at the drop of a hat and haven't been in to the office for weeks [DH just brings it all home for me] which is really bad as he is so busy. I just can't handle any stress at the moment. We are still virtually camping in our house and the insurance company appointed builder says he can't start until after the new year. Couldn't they at least demolish the burnt parts of the house so we don't have to keep looking at it and smelling it? All I want to do is bury myself in bed all day and read, read, read. I reckon I could do it too, if only I could train my cats to bring me pots of tea.... Maybe its finally time for some happy pills?

Anyway, on a cheerier note, we had a great meeting with the Doctor this week. He discussed possibilities of why our last cycle was such a disaster - probably the drug cocktail - and went through all our previous cycles. We ran into him at the conference so maybe now he thinks we are serious and deserving of his attention. He is keen for us to try again but wants to do karotype [chromosomal] testing first. DH has been put on my Ele.vit multi-vitamins with a view to starting another cycle November or December, depending on the test results. We will do ICSI next time and add HCG injections to try and improve egg quality. In the mean time I guess I should pull myself together. I'll let you know how I go.


topcat said...

Oh, I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling down, and I really hope it doesn't last. You've been through a lot.

Ummm, as for the Bourbon ... HELLO??!! That makes me SO cranky, that's just f*cked. My stepdad used to give me glasses of port when I was about 9 - raging alcoholic by age 20. Thanks for that.

I'm glad Tiger has you in his life. (How funny that we both have a Tiger!) - good luck as you head into a new cycle. May this be your last. Take care :)

Ovagirl said...

ES thankyou for taking time to leave a comment with me, I really appreciate it. I hope your next cycle is the one for you, it sounds like your specialist is on the case. I heard a bit about that conference in Hobart that comment that one of the speakers made about people relying too much on IVF instead of having sex really annoyed me. I do hope that those doctors took on board the fact that patients were attending and listening. For "patients" read REAL PEOPLE WITH FEELINGS.