Thursday, 30 October 2008


Tuesday at the breast clinic was a surreal day. 4 hours in a room full of ladies my mothers age in dressing gowns. Four women touched my breasts, 3 of whom I wanted to punch in the face because they hurt me so much. (Not quite the male fantasy you were expecting hey googlers?)

Everyone could feel the lump but no cyst or anything else ominous was showing on the mammogram or ultrasound, so they sent me across the road to the hospital to see a specialist breast surgeon. She suggested it was a fatty tissue deposit most probably caused by the IVF meds. She did a needle biopsy and sent me home with a band-aid on my breast. Her office rang yesterday afternoon to say the tissue sample was benign fatty breast tissue. Yay! Today my breast is bruised black and blue, oh and a spash of red as a reaction to the band-aid. Boo!

I have to see the surgeon again in 3 months and the breast clinic in 12 months. But in the meantime I can continue with Cycle Number 13! First stim injection was last night, so we are off and racing.....

PS: the weekend away was fabulous. We ended up inviting some friends to stay Saturday night with us so it was a bit more boozy than relaxing but a lovely change of scenery all the same. I highly recommend Marks Restaurant in Lorne. Yum.

Thursday, 23 October 2008

Tuesday's the day

I found a breast clinic who could fit me in next Tuesday for an ultrasound and mammogram. They said to leave 4 hours for the appointment as they do the assessment, diagnosis and treatment plan all at the same time. I have my baseline blood test Tuesday morning as well.

I rang my IVF nurse to let her know what was going on. She will speak to my doctor today and we will make the decision about my cycle after Tuesday. I refuse to worry about anything until then. I've been getting loads of headaches lately and spent most of yesterday in bed with a migraine, so DH is worrying enough for two anyway.

Thankfully, I had already booked a weekend away with my Darling Husband for this weekend. We leave tomorrow and come back Monday. The weather is meant to be warm so I envisage lots of romantic walks along the beach, relaxing, reading and eating. Our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to find the best restaurant on The Great Ocean Road.

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

What now?

I rang to make an appointment with my local doctor today. The receptionist said there were no appointments until next week which didn't surprise me, but when I mentioned what my problem was there was a sudden cancellation this very afternoon! I guess everything has its up side.

I have a lump in my left breast. Sigh.

The breast clinic the doctor referred me to has an 8 week waiting list. I will try another clinic tomorrow to see if they can get me in any earlier. I don't want to wait 8 weeks.

It's probably a cyst. Most lumps are benign cysts. I know that. But for fucks sake! Cysts in my ovaries, cysts in my breast. Is any part of my body any good? I hope this stupid headache behind my eye is a tumor, so we can just get it over with already.

Should I cancel this cycle? Would it make any difference?

Friday, 17 October 2008


I started syn.arel this morning. The monster headache has started already.

Psychosomatic I know.
What! You calling me a psycho?

Go away I'm not even talking to you.
Fine! I hate you!
Sorry, the bcp hormona-bitch keeps interrupting me. Thankfully pill stops Tuesday.
Why don't you like me anymore?
Did I do something to upset you?
Just. Go. Away!

Ahhhhh. I can't believe I pay through the nose for these side effects.

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Warning - baby photos

Introducing my gorgeous nephew. Two weeks old and wide awake. The first pic is with his dad and the second shows that the brain washing starts early in their house with the football team dummy.

And this stunning vision in pink is my 2yo niece posing with one of our goats. She's a city girl but has no fear of animals and kept trying to cuddle the horse's leg, definitely not something I would recommend. This tiny tot is well and truly brain washed - she can sing the whole bloody football team song!

Tuesday, 14 October 2008

Guest Ettiquette

My brother, my SIL and her mother, 2yo B and bonny new baby S came for the weekend! Someone needs to tell baby S that he is not even 2 weeks old yet and so should not be so alert and wakeful. Although I suppose if you allow for delays in prem babies, you should allow for advances in overdue bubs too, which actually makes him almost 1 month old. But still... the boy hardly slept and his eyes were always open, arms and legs constantly moving! Absolutely gorgeous though. I was given loads of time with him, pity time I know, but still I sucked it up. I took some lovely pic's of him with his dad which I'll post when I can be bothered to find the camera.

Both of my SILs are the same, they come for the weekend and never bring any food for their children, then raid my cupboards to feed them. I know that as guests they expect to be fed and that includes their children, which I do, fine, no problem, what I find odd is that they just help themselves. There is no way I would just reach into their fridge and take food without asking first, I don't even do that at my mother' s house. I even take my own food when I go to babysit.

The stepkids stayed Friday night (a whole other story!) and Rose brought a friend. I walked into the kitchen at one point to find Rose's friend eating the olives and fancy dip that I had bought especially for my visitors.

Kids are different of course, but what is the ettiquette with guests? I guess they think that I have bought the food to feed them, so there's no need to ask if they can eat it. But my SILs will even help themselves to leftovers and will happily eat that last chocolate biscuit you've been saving without saying a word, things that clearly have not be purchased for them. I am pleased that they they obviously feel at home in my house, and they all say they love coming here because they do get looked after so well. But I am stuck at the thought that I would not behave the same way at their houses. Are they the normal ones here, is it just me being overly sensitive? Be honest. Tell me. Am I a food prude?

Edited to add: I guess my concern is linked to what they are likely to find whilst ferreting about in my fridge - my very large stash of drugs with giveaway words in large lettering, like preg.nyl and beta. They are very nice women but the last thing I need is people ringing me up and asking if I'm pregnant yet, thank you very much.

Friday, 10 October 2008

Topcat's Inaugural Downunder Dork-Off

In the interests of Topcat's sanity (and pure entertainment value), I am entering her Dork-off Competition. It's easy - just find the dorkiest photo of yourself and post it for the world to see! Link it back to her blog.

The first pic (can you tell I don't know how to add photos properly in blogger?) is me in 1984 around my 15th birthday. I had insisted that I be allowed to get my hair permed for my 15th birthday. I think my mother let me have it done just for a laugh, but at the time I thought it was so cool. Later, at the height of Howard Jones' 80's popularity, I spiked it up even boofier and cut the sides above my ears really short. Camera's were obviously banned in our house during that period. My hair colour looks quite red in this shot and although I have the skin tone of a red head I'm not really, I think its just that the photo is so very old!

The second pic is of me at about 10 when I entered (?) and won (!) the "Miss Nowhere Town" at the Nowhere Town Show. In my defence, I vaguely recall that my mother and her friends made me enter because no-one liked the mother of the girl who had won the past 3 years. Checkout those skinny pins! Oh, and the glow in the dark sandals. Noice!

For almost 2 years I have kept this blog anonymous, now in the last month I have spilled my name and posted photo's of myself. Oh dear. Although I'm pretty sure no-one would be willing to associate themselves with me in the light of these photo's - if you do know me, please don't tell anyone.

Go join the laughter and dancing at Topcat's house. There's a prize on offer!

Thursday, 9 October 2008

PGD cycle

DH and I had an appointment at the clinic yesterday, we were told it was to be a Genetic Counselling session, compulsory for couples doing Embryo Biopsy/PGD. I wouldn't exactly call it counselling but it was interesting none the less. Basically an embryologist took us through a picture book of what the biopsy actually entails, the particular chromosomes they test and explained half a dozen times that they cannot guarantee that the end result will be a pregnancy or that a child born from this procedure will not have any abnormalities, or indeed that there will even be any embryos without abnormalities to transfer.

I have been so focussed on "okay lets do this to see if we can get some answers" that it didn't occur to me until halfway through the session that we are going to have to pay for this today. We can't really afford this right now. Oops. Minor detail! Bloody hell, where do you just find $6,500? Sorry kids Christmas has just been cancelled.

I've been on the pill for a week now so the sniffing is due to start next week. Yay bring on more headaches. Just what I need. This cycle is the first one where I'm thinking that if the drug side effects get too bad I'm just going to stop taking them and call the whole thing off. Yep, I definitely think this will be our last try.

But then what will I blog about? I'll just have to become a serial lurker.

Monday, 6 October 2008

Weekend Warriors

During the week DH and I are slaves to our 2 cats, while on weekends we become slaves to his kids. This was another weekend full of driving kids hither and to, and generally being at beck and call despite our mutual feelings of crapiness thanks to some sort of cold/stomach bug thingamy.

Rose had a friend stay Friday night and decided to have a horror movie night. They tried to slip a couple of R-rated ones past me in the video shop; nice try but no cigar. So all night we were subjected to various high pitched screams, squeals and laughter. Quite funny really, reminded me of that TV ad where a sleep-deprived-looking mother opens her daughter's bedroom door to see squealing girls with sheets, blankets and doona's over their heads running around wildly, the voice over says something like "the sleepovers won't last but the sheet's will".

I had to go into work early on Saturday morning but was too sick to get as much done as I had hoped. I rang home to see how DH was doing, "I couldn't stand the squealing and giggling any more so I'm outside doing manly things like washing my car". Hee hee. Poor baby had to cook dinner Saturday night for everyone as I was in bed by 5pm!

Tiger won another g.olf tournament this weekend to add to the other one he won during the week. He thinks this should bring his handicap down to 6. He's obsessed. Thank God though, we often say it's the best thing for him because it keeps him off the streets. Quite a few of kids he used to hang out with are now regular dope smokers, "greening_out" at school and getting into trouble. Most of the people he plays golf with are much older then him. He gets on really well with the retired old men at the Club. They love to teach the youngsters about the etiquette and rules of the game, and they all know his grandfather, which helps keep him in line too. A wise old woman who met Tiger as a toddler told DH "keep this one entertained".

I've been wanting to organise a weekend away for DH and I for a while now, but it keeps getting put it off as things for the kids or family pop up, but I'm quite sure they can all live without us for one weekend while we go lie on a beach. I am going to book it today if it kills me.

Friday, 3 October 2008

What was I thinking?

I weighed myself this morning.....

The horror! The horror!

Wednesday, 1 October 2008

Is this thing on?

Cycle Day 1 was Sunday, and I finally got around to ringing the clinic today. Up to yesterday I had been oscillating still on whether to start now or give myself a break and wait until next year, but then the baby news came through.... So I start on the pill today. Nothing like a little competition to spur a girl on! LOL

My brother and SIL had a boy! Yay, I was hoping they'd have a boy. They used our maternal grandfather's and our father's names which has pleased our parents no end. I'm yet to meet him but already he seems to be taking after his father by proving himself to be a bit of a handful. They were preparing V for a caesarian because bub would not engage (he finally did at the very last minute) and then he gave everyone a fright by choking during his first feed and turning bright blue. The pictures are very cute. My mother tells me he's going to be a stunner like his dad.

Surely it must be my turn next?! Hello? Universe? Can anyone hear me? Is this thing on?