Tuesday, 29 April 2008

Transfer #8

After so many transfers you'd think I would have it down pat, but no I need to wear the stupid badge too. I think my mistake was having a cup of tea in the morning. Tea, being a diuretic, make me wee - a lot. In between admission to the hospital and being seated in the 'holding' area,about half an hour, I had emptied my bladder twice already. You'd think then, since I was already on urine overdrive, that I wouldn't bother drinking the suggested 2 glasses of water, but no, I drank it! Half an hour over my scheduled procedure time I had to go and relive 'half' my bladder. One hour after my scheduled time I was about to do it again, but I was finally called in. I was incredibly uncomfortable and terribly worried that something awful would happen and I would have to change clinics, possibly even countries.

I'm surprised my husband doesn't have bruises on his hand I was squeezing it so tightly through the whole thing. We were shown pictures of 2 blastys that were 'doing everything we expect them to do at this stage'. [My clinic doesn't grade eggs or embryos and it can be very hard to interpret the scientific speak to know if they are any good or not (take yesterday's use of the word 'dodgy' for example)]. DH thought they looked like pies. They are watching another 2 to see if they can be frozen, but I doubt they will.

The procedure took ages, or so it seemed in my agitated state, and then we had to do it all again because the embyro's were stuck in the catheter! Being a superstitious infertile, I have taken this to be a good sign, that they are extra sticky little buggers and are looking to implant straight away! Thus, they are now christened "Sticky Date Pudding" and "Toffee Apple Pie".

I have hung up my Tibet.an prayer flags, and am appealing to G_d, Budd_ha, the Dalai_Lama and anyone else who might be listening to please let me keep these little ones.

Monday, 28 April 2008

Its hard to find good help...

I rang the clinic this morning to check on how my babies are going. Is it so hard for people to understand that I do consider these tiny groups of primitive still-forming cells as my babies, they are very important to me and I have a whole lot riding on their well being. I have been lying awake since 4am worrying about them but have generously waited until 9am to call you, I am not ringing just to annoy you or to shoot the breeze with you.

My normal nurse is away (as always). This is the response I received:
"Six are still alive, one is looking dodgy".

Transfer is at 12.30pm.... hopefully not the dodgy one.

Saturday, 26 April 2008

Transfer set for Monday

At Day 2 (Friday) all 7 embyros were still growing. One was at 5-cells, two at 4-cells and the rest dragging their heels a little at 2-cells. Come on fella's keep up now, we've still got a long way to go!

I start progesterone gel tonight, and have a puregon injection tomorrow and again Thursday. Transfer is Monday afternoon. Bring on the insanity....

Thursday, 24 April 2008

Fertilisation results are in

Yesterday's egg retrieval went amazingly well. I was quite nervous because my last experience was so unusual, when I woke up mid-procedure and then had lots of blood afterwards. I told the anesthetist before we went into theatre so he treated me with kid-gloves and said he would pump the juice up a little. Whether or not he did, I certainly appreciated him saying it. I remembered one of the nurses in recovery from last time, she wasn't looking after me but told my nurse that I had a big bleed last time and so I had to sit up for a while before being allowed to stand. I couldn't believe the nurse remembered me from November last year, and cared enough to intervene in my treatment.

The increased meds worked. They retrieved 12 eggs! The clinic called this morning to say that 8 were mature and 7 have fertilised. I am so excited! We always lose a few on the way to blastocycst, so starting off with 7 should definitely net us at least 2 for transfer.

At this stage transfer will be Monday 28th. I am using Preg.nyl for luteal phase support this time so the injections continue, but I feel much better knowing we are trying different things. Does anyone know any old wives tales (heck I'll even try scientifically-proven methods if anyone knows any) for thickening the uterine lining?

Monday, 21 April 2008

My Pal Trigger

Trigger tonight at 8pm!

My ultrasound this morning revealed 30-odd follicles with 4-5 each side between 15 and 20mm. The right ovary has been working much harder than the lazy left which I think was the case last time as well. The original point of this blog was to record things like this but I never seem to keep track of the little, probably really important things like this that I might want to know later. They warn that Synarel can bring on feelings of worthlessness, so its a good thing that my last dose was this morning, because I certainly don't need any assistance in that area thank you very much.

My lining was only 6.3mm which I was disappointed with but the sonographer (is that what they're called?) said that it didn't matter in a stimulated cycle. Why would that be? The juicier the lining the better the odds of implantation - Frozen or stim - right?

Anyway, trigger injection tonight. No meds Tuesday - yippee! Then the big trek into Day Surgery for 8.30am admission on Wednesday. All going well we will have at least 2 blastocysts for Monday. Despite my hesitancy about a multiple pregnancy, because of all the sad stories I have read lately, we have decided that we will transfer 2 embryos if we can. Unfortunately this usually means we won't have any left to freeze, but in the hope of increasing our odds we'll take that risk.

Good luck to everyone else doing egg retrieval this week. May we all get 100% fertilisation rates and picture perfect embryo's.

Thursday, 17 April 2008

the Old & the Fertile

When my mother first retired, many years ago now, she became addicted to an American soap-opera that screens here in the late afternoon. It got so bad that she would have to be home by 4.30 everyday, or she'd make my dad watch it for her and tell her what happened. I'm pleased to say she finally regained her sanity, but ever since we both like to check in every now and again then ring eachother and laugh over the latest outrageous plot. Well.....! Yesterday I was laid up with a chemical-induced headache and caught up with arguably the most ridiculous plot to date. Boy that's a big call, maybe not the most, but certainly up there in the Top 10.

A woman [lets call her Taylor] has recently given birth to a son using IVF with donor eggs, when she discovers that there was a mix-up at the lab and the wrong donor was used. If that was not bad enough - she learns that the donor, 'the biological mother of her son', is none other than her worst enemy [lets call her Brooke, or That Slut for short] and her husbands ex-wife!!!! But the most annoyingly ridiculous part of this whole storyline is that both women must be in their late 40s. Both of them have multiple adult children - the Doctor who made the mistake in the lab is the donor's daughter for heaven's sake!

Then...! This morning while I was waiting in the supermarket queue I noticed a TV magazine in the stand next to me with a headline that read something like "Brooke forces Taylor to give up baby". I don't think I can even raise a giggle over this one.

All the IVF clinics throughout the world should band together in a class action against all unrealistic portrayals of IVF and infertility on TV. I mean, seriously, as if there isn't enough drama involved in the real thing anyway. Give us a break!

Monday, 14 April 2008


AF finally arrived yesterday so today is CD2. Started Synarel sniffing this morning and Puregon injections tomorrow night. The Puregon dose is increased this time so I am hoping we will get a few more eggs. Actually I don't care - just as long as the quality is good. Actually, no, not just good - I want fucking brilliant eggs this time please, and a bigger fluffier lining too while we're at it!

I am staying Friday night at a friend's house, and another friend who is also staying has agreed to help me as I have two injections that night [DH usually does all my injecting]. I must say she sounded a little too excited at the idea, I'll have to make sure we do them before the wine starts flowing too freely! This friend has been keeping baby things for me for 7 years and told me today that she finally gave them all to someone else on the weekend. Rather than apologise, she said that her keeping these things has been holding me back and now that they are gone I am free to get pregnant. I wish it was that simple...

I have an ultrasound appointment next Monday. If all goes to plan EPU should be next Wednesday and transfer around the 27th. I was planning to lose a bit of weight before starting this cycle but as usual I have procrastinated and now it's too late.

Anyhoo, come on Cycle #11, we're off!

Tuesday, 8 April 2008

Going mental

I do believe I am losing the plot. Last night I started thinking that maybe AF won't come this week after all! Ovulation this month was very distinct when usually it is not. Doc thinks I ovulate each month but the eggs are released too early, and I can never really pick the day. But this time I even experienced some pain and have had loads of odd niggles and twitches. We had lots of mid-cycle sex because any 'sign' or positive feeling must be exploited in this game. Then I forgot about it - until last night. And now its out there.... and won't be put back in. You would think after this long ttc I would be past these sorts of futile fantasies. But no. I mean, honestly! How mental am I?

Apparently not as mental as my cats...... Day light saving ended for us on Sunday, and Supercat and Scaredycat are having some trouble adjusting. DH usually gets up for work around 5am and Supercat's teeny-tweeny bladder is programed only to last until exactly this time. So the last 2 mornings we have been rudely awoken at 3.40 and 4am by desperate meowing at the front door and, standing two feet on each person's hip, in our ears. Supercat has even resorted to some tomcat singing and eventually gotten his own way even though he knows exactly where the [perfectly clean] kitty litter is. I hope they adjust soon or we'll all be headed to the funny farm.

Monday, 7 April 2008

Ready..... Set........

I went to see my nurse last week and collected all my goodies for Cycle #11/Stim Cycle #6. We are trying the Boost protocol again this time with added luteal phase support. AF is due for an appearance later this week, but emotionally I feel lower than a pregnant snakes belly so maybe she is closer than expected.

Maybe some of my flat mood is due to some odd interactions with DH's family this weekend. Even DH says that speaking to his eldest son lately leaves him feeling 'hollow'. Batman has always made me feel like that, but I'm devastated that he now seems to be shutting his dad out too. I'm hoping its just that he's 18, his world revolves around himself and his friends and nothing outside that holds any interest.

I love DH's sister. She and her husband are childless by choice which makes us an odd couple but she's fun and warm and kind. His father is always nice to me but has reached that grumpy age and is terribly competitive with DH. His mother on the other hand I find a bit of a cold fish. After 6-7 years I still cannot have a conversation with her that does not involve DH's ex-wife. I cannot tell you how much this pisses me off. I don't know if she is being exceptionally rude or exceptionally stupid. Her favourite son, Dh's younger brother, is the inspiration behind The Offspring song 'Pretty fly for a white guy' [Friends say he's trying too hard, and he's not quite hip. But in his own mind he's the, he's the dopest trip]. He lives in a house that Mummy bought him, his daughter goes to a private school that Mummy pays for and drives a car that Mummy bought. He runs a business that DH and I set up and later sold to him but has never paid for, in which Mummy has 'invested' hundreds of thousands of dollars just to keep it afloat and the mistress paid each week. I really like his wife and daughter, but very rarely see them, because we can't bear his posturing about how well he's doing.

None of them are going to be the least bit interested if when we have a baby, but that could be a good thing.