Friday, 19 June 2009

An emotional week

After bragging last week about how good I'm feeling physically, this week has been an odd one emotionally.

I think I've been in tears every day for some reason or another - well, mostly for no reason at all! Poor hubby is a fixer, so does not cope with me in tears - least of all when I'm unable to even articulate why. Maybe its just hormones. Maybe its just a stress relief.

The other day I went into a carpet store to choose carpet for bub's room but left almost in tears because I just felt so overwhelmed. I left an electrical store at the same time as a woman who must have been at least 80 years old, we did the "no you go first" thing but then she said "I've been there done that darling, I know how tired you must be feeling". I sat in my car and cried "Yes, I am tired. No-one understands how tired I am." But of course they do.

Everywhere I go lately women ask me when the baby is due, how long do I have to go. When I tell them 6 weeks, the majority of them say things like "oh I found that the worst part" or "I cried so much in the last 6 weeks, I was so over it". A lady said to me today "You'll be so happy when it's all over".

But you know, as much as I long to meet my baby, I wonder if I will miss feeling him/her flopping around in my belly. Trying to guess if that bulge is a head or a bum, a hand or a foot. Wondering what the hell is going on when the movements are so quick and fluttery. It's such an amazing, intimate connection. One I thought that I would never have the opportunity to experience, and that I will never be able to experience ever again. The kids make fun of me always rubbing my tummy, but I just love it. I never want it to end. I just want to savour it forever.

Friday, 12 June 2009

So far, so good

After years of feeling disappointed with my body, I can't believe how well it's coping with this pregnancy so far. The frequency and severity of my headaches have been reduced to almost nothing and my back is holding up really quite nicely. I don't think there would be a pregnant woman on the planet who didn't suffer some sort of back pain, but given my history I am surprised (and oh so very grateful!) it hasn't been anywhere near as bad as I thought it could be.

I am sure I will lament my stretch marks in the future but for the moment I just don't care, and I haven't gained as much weight as I thought I would - and probably should considering my infantile aversion to green vegetables and total lack of interest in cooking.

My mother has the most appalling varicose veins you will ever see. She's a master of guilt my mother, and will point to the ugly purple ropes entwined around her legs and remind my brothers and I who caused each particular one. When she was carrying me, for example, both feet from shin to toe turned completely purpley/black, while the boys caused the ropes and subsequent clots in the calves and thighs. She often likes to remind me they are hereditary. But so far, so good - neglected hair growth is the only ugliness going on with my legs at the moment.

Tiredness seems to be my main problem at the moment (and most likely will be for the next 5+ years!). DH ringing at 11am and asking "are you still in bed?", and the fact that our house is still crawling with noisy men of the building variety, are basically the only reasons I get out of bed at all some days.

But being me, I have been blessed with a small number of your more weird pregnancy afflictions. Mind you every time I raise a new one with my Ob, he just nods wisely and tells me "oh yes, that's quite common during pregnancy" then bursts out laughing once I've left the room (well, he might!). Then why can I not find any information in the books, or online? So I ask you dear internets what are/were your strangest symptoms/ailments during pregnancy that no-one talks about?

So far I have three:-
1.) Blood blisters on my lady parts
2.) Small brown spots on the skin of my breasts and belly (raised mole/freckle-type things, i think some people call them skin tags)
3.) Carpal Tunnel syndrome in my wrists (hands numb during the night and are sore/stiff for a few hours in the morning)

I am delighted and terrified in equal measure about hitting the 33 week mark (and the second-last frame in my ticker!). In childbirth classes they talked about "term" being between 37 and 42 weeks, which means bub could be here in as little as 4 weeks or as long as 9 weeks! At this week's Ob visit bub looked great, still splashing around with plenty of fluid, and measured 36 weeks. I have submitted my birth plan (OMG I have to give birth?!) which I hope goes more smoothly than my trying to conceive plan!

IRL this week, my brother and SIL's friends gave birth to healthy twin girls at 38 weeks gestation (3rd IVF), and a work colleague's daughter miscarried at 20 weeks. Lots of love to both families.

Monday, 1 June 2009

Be careful what you wish for...!

Last year our builder told us that work would begin on our fire repairs and house extension in January and take approx 6 months to complete. I think it was actually late Feb by the time anything really started and then only in dribs and drabs. We had very dry weather over Summer and Autumn, during which time I repeatedly said "I wish these damn builders would hurry up and get into it".

Today is the first day of Winter and the weather bureau is predicting cold and wet weather all week. Today is meant to be the first day of my maternity leave.

Coincidentally, today we have what sounds like a half-dozen men removing part of our roof.....