After bragging last week about how good I'm feeling physically, this week has been an odd one emotionally.
I think I've been in tears every day for some reason or another - well, mostly for no reason at all! Poor hubby is a fixer, so does not cope with me in tears - least of all when I'm unable to even articulate why. Maybe its just hormones. Maybe its just a stress relief.
The other day I went into a carpet store to choose carpet for bub's room but left almost in tears because I just felt so overwhelmed. I left an electrical store at the same time as a woman who must have been at least 80 years old, we did the "no you go first" thing but then she said "I've been there done that darling, I know how tired you must be feeling". I sat in my car and cried "Yes, I am tired. No-one understands how tired I am." But of course they do.
Everywhere I go lately women ask me when the baby is due, how long do I have to go. When I tell them 6 weeks, the majority of them say things like "oh I found that the worst part" or "I cried so much in the last 6 weeks, I was so over it". A lady said to me today "You'll be so happy when it's all over".
But you know, as much as I long to meet my baby, I wonder if I will miss feeling him/her flopping around in my belly. Trying to guess if that bulge is a head or a bum, a hand or a foot. Wondering what the hell is going on when the movements are so quick and fluttery. It's such an amazing, intimate connection. One I thought that I would never have the opportunity to experience, and that I will never be able to experience ever again. The kids make fun of me always rubbing my tummy, but I just love it. I never want it to end. I just want to savour it forever.
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4 comments:
Well- other people may know what its like to be pregnant, but they don't know what its like to be you, and pregnant. Everyone's different. Your experience is your own. I think you've got exactly the right attitude, wanting to savor the rest of the pregnancy. It's such a magical time, even when it hurts ;)
Yes you will miss your baby inside you. Make sure you take lots of photos of your belly before you give birth and enjoy every second from now on in. It took me 6 years to become pregnant. My boy is nearly 5 months old and I so miss having him inside me.
Also - you think you cry alot now? wait until s/he is born.. I have just spent the last 2 days in tears lol
All the best. Am so pleased you are finally going to be a mum
Sorry you have had such an emotional week. I am actually finding the 3rd trimester more emotional than the others most likely hormones, like you say.
Yes I wonder the same thing, the movement is absolutely amazing and I am so happy you are experiencing it.
Enjoy every bit.
Venturing out of lurkdom as I've been wondering how you are doing? I do hope things are going well with the pregnancy and you are feeling good, if not cheery (guess that is hard in the last weeks of pg!).
Best wishes from a reader in Australia (had my IVF "miracle" baby in 2004 just prior to my 40th birthday).
Jennette
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