Thursday, 23 April 2009

Finding my way out of the abyss

Whoops, sorry about that! The abyss was actually just school holidays, but dark and seemingly endless all the same. Now I remember why we started going away over Easter. I have spend the best part of the last two weeks driving kids around the state, working ridiculous hours and catching up with family as we lurch headlong into 'birthday season' for both our families. Unfortunately, my birthday is among those coming up, but maybe if I keep quiet they will forget.....

Good news is that I don't have GD, but just for fun I get to do the test again at 28 weeks.

I need to stop working. Its still only early I know, and soooo many women have told me that they worked full time right up until their due dates (as if it's a competition!) but I just don't care. I am so easily exhausted at the moment and I have to take care of number one. The more I work, the more my replacement is dependent on me being there. I find myself in tears on the freeway feeling just so tired and heavy that I can hardly move. DH keeps having to scold me "we have worked too hard to get here for you to start taking risks now". I hang my head in shame, then the next week start up again in a panic of all the things I want to get done before I leave.

I have worked in this business almost since the day DH bought it. Since it was just he and I, to the 9 employees we have now. I am a control freak at the best of times and I admit I'm having trouble letting go. No-one is irreplaceable, the company will go on perfectly well without me - intellectually I know this. DH and I are strange (in many, many ways! lol) because we love working together. Spending 24 hours a day together is normal for us. I think that's the thing I will miss the most.

PS: I think another belly shot is due... tune in next week to laugh and point at the fat woman in her ludicrously large underwear.


Vee said...

Oh I hear you, I could easily give up work now. I am just concerned the time will drag out.

Great news on the GD!

Lisa said...

I can relate to not wanting others to do the work I know how to do better. :) And, just feeling responsible. It's so great, though, that you're in a family biz (your own!) and can make the call, when you're ready (how about Monday!), to take a step back from the job and concentrate on getting through the rest of the pg.

Keep taking good care! You are doing great!

Chris said...

Put your feet up, you've earned it! So happy you're doing so well :)

sara said...

SO happy to hear about the GD being okay! I have to agree - you know what's best for you. If you feel that you shouldn't be working, then know what's best! You've worked hard and deserve nothing but the best!