Thursday, 15 July 2010

Reconnecting

I have been spending a lot of time in bed lately. And hospital. My latest side effect is anaemia. I have been having blood transfusions every couple of weeks. One week in bed... one good week... another week in bed... Fun and games.... Shits and giggles....

DH has been trying to talk me into putting a tv in the bedroom, but I have resisted. He decided that he misses reading my blog so went to buy me an i-pad - despite my objections to the cost. In the end he decided it didn't have enough power and bought me a laptop at 3 x the price. There is a lot of Tim the Toolman in my husband.

Despite the anaemia, the Oncologist has been happy with my response to the trial drug. The first lot of CT and MRI scans in June showed all tumours had shrunk in size to varying degrees. Results for the 2nd lot of scans are due tomorrow and no-one is quite so optimistic. The lymph node tumours under my arm have visibly increased in size over the past couple of weeks. I'm not sure if they will keep me on this trial if that is the case. I am expecting not. We are meeting the Oncologist at 10am tomorrow. My anxiety levels are through the roof and keep leaking out my eyeballs.

On a brighter note, my baby girl is almost a year old! She is the most gorgeous thing and I just adore her. She is still doing the commando tummy crawl but has started to pull herself up and weight bear on her legs just this week. She refuses to talk but has some hilarious facial expressions and waves furiously whenever anyone enters or leaves the room. I must write a big post with photo's for you. I must also organise her birthday party. Bloody hell I'm hopeless - can't make a decision to save my life at the moment.

Thanks for stopping by and thinking of me, I will try to catch up on my reading over the weekend.

29 comments:

stepmumoftheyear said...

I'm not the praying kind, but I'll have all my fingers and toes crossed for you tomorrow that you get a good outcome at the oncologist.

The very best of luck and lots of hugs to you.

xxx

edenland said...

Louise, I am thinking of you always, always. Abiding with you. You're doing pretty bloody well, you know lady!!

Hanging to see the latest pics of your sweet baby girl - one already! Wonder what kind of cake she will have .... she'll love it.

Wishing and praying for good news tomorrow. You have a LOT of people living in your new shiny computer, willing you on, sending you their hearts. You should totally use this to your advantage. Form an alliance or some shit.

Love you mate. Stay well.

XOXOXOXOX

XOXOXOX

jill said...

Happy to hear from you. I'll be thinking of you and sending hopeful thoughts for the appt tomorrow.

Would love to see pics of your daughter :) I was just looking back at the one you posted when she was born...

Melanie said...

How wonderful it is to hear from you and about you, Louise. I love that your hubby went all out for you, Ipad be damned, get my girl some real power! I'm thinking about you and pulling for you. Please post pictures of your little cutie!

Wordgirl said...

Hi love!

What a hubby! He's right though -- I've missed you!

I think of you all the time and just 'hearing' your voice here puts a HUGE smile on my face. I can't tell you how often I go back to all of the stepmum advice you've given me over the years -- it is such a touchstone.

I am, as Eden says, sending you my heart -- I hope you can feel it where over there halfway round the world.

And I can't WAIT to see pictures of your beauty -- a year old!


My love and warmest thoughts,

XOXOOXOX

Pam

sara said...

I am so delighted to see an update. I have checked back often and am always hoping to see that you're hanging in there. I can't believe your little one is almost a year! Unbelievable. I am wishing nothing but the best for you in the days ahead ((hugs))

Vee said...

So nice to hear from you, you have been on my mind.
All the best for the next lot of results.
Look forward to seeing some pics.

jungletwins said...

So glad you posted. I think of you often and can't wait to see new pics of your gorgeous little girl.

Stacie said...

I am so glad you posted. I have been thinking of you lots! Thank goodness that hubby of yours got you a computer. Give that man an extra hug from the bloggy world tonight as a thank you!

Can't wait to see the pics of your daughter! A year old already!?! Wow!

I am praying with all I've got for you.

Much love!

Anonymous said...

I am so glad to see your post! Hoping for the very, very best new tomorrow for you.
And how great your baby is doing so well. She sounds amazing. I know we would all love to see photos!

AussieJenn said...

So good to see a post from you, I often drop past wondering how you are doing. I'm sorry for all you are going through.
I too can't believe your daughter is almost one. Don't stress the party thing, just make sure there are lots of pics (don't forget the obligatory one of her with her cake and her mum and dad) taken on her special day and smother her in kisses, hugs and wrapping paper!
You and your family continue to be in my thoughts.

Bridgwest said...

Thinking of you often, so very sorry that fighting cancer sucks so much. Hopefully the doc has new ideas and better news than you are expecting.

Best wishes for the BIG day, I hope you're having a good day and that you can celebrate how far you have come with your little princess.

Sending virtual hugs your way.
Bridg

lucky13 said...

so good to read something from you and to know that you are hanging in there. good thoughts for your recovery.
be well.

Lisa said...

I check over here often and think of you every day. Can't wait to see pics of your little sweetie girl at ONE!

By now you've had your meeting with the oncologist. So hoping it went well. The stress between visits must be crushing. Lean on that wonderful husband as much as you can and try to remember that you have love and prayers flowing toward you from ALL corners of the world.

Anonymous said...

So happy to hear from you. My fingers are crossed for your appointment. Your little girl sounds absolutely adorable, good luck with the party planning!

(another) karen said...

so glad to "hear from you." hope things went as well as possible at the doctor last week.

thinking of you guys,
karen

SassyCupcakes said...

I can't believe your little girl is almost 1. I hope you've got more good news about shrinking tumours, if there isn't, I don't know what to say. I'm thinking of you.

In Due Time said...

I'm praying for you sweetie.

Anonymous said...

hardly hopeless...more like astonishing, amazing and wonderful.

Thoughts and prayers have been and remain with you.

Glenda

andi said...

Louise louise louise! One year old today. Woot woot woot. Thinking of you and your young woman.

Lots of love
Andi
xx

Anonymous said...

Ditto what everyone else said. I hope you felt well enough to enjoy the day with your little blessing.

Anonymous said...

Sending positive thoughts your way.

Noelle said...

Still thinking of you and sending prayers and healing thoughts your way.

Anonymous said...

I followed your IVF journey, while simultaneously going through my own. Your blog has been wonderfully cathartic for me, despite not succeeding in the babymaking journey (yet). About to give it another go, and I wanted you to know how much you've inspired me, as a 40 year old. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself, you've touched more lives than you know. I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you, sending healing thoughts, and hoping for the very best for you always.

SassyCupcakes said...

I'm thinking of you.

Lisa said...

Out here, thinking of you.

Pundelina said...

Another one out here lurking, thinking of you and sending hopeful thoughts your way. All my love Louise.

Tina said...

Another lurker here who thinks of you often xo

Amanda said...

Yet another lurker thinking of you often and sending all possible positive thoughts.