Monday, 12 May 2008

Purgatory

Purgatory (pronunciation: per ga tawr-ee)
  • any condition or place of temporary punishment, suffering, expiation, or the like.

What to feel? What to think? What is happening? I wish I knew.

To be honest, I am finding it hard to think of anything else. I am feeling sensitive breasts with sometimes sore and tingly nipples, off and on cramps, stitches in my side, sore lower back, not quite nauseous but light-headed and weirdly cranky if I don't eat regularly. I. Feel. Pregnant. And then it all stops and I feel 'normal' again. And then the symptoms start up again....

I POAS on Friday and saw a faint line. I POAS this morning (different brand) and saw nothing.

Surely a tiny amount of hCG cannot wreak this much havoc? It must be in cahoots with the progesterone gel just to mind-f*ck me. Could my symptoms purely be from the progesterone? Has anyone has this before? How did it end? Honestly.

I got my dates all messed up - AF is due Tuesday the 13th and 2nd Beta is Wednesday 14th. When all/more will be revealed. Being a realist, I am expecting the beta to back to 0, praying it's not ectopic, but secretly hoping for a story like this. Can I please? Huh? Can I? Huh Huh? Please Can I?




PS: Whilst trying to keep myself occupied over the 2ww, I have been neglecting my blogging duties. I have been trying to keep up with you all but have failed miserably in the commenting department. I will do better this week.

15 comments:

Topcat said...

Ohhhhh, purgatory indeed.

Hoping with and for you!!!! My first beta was crapola .... 66 I think. And everyone sounded doubtful.

Hang in there, lil embie.


I feel like I sound trite, but I mean it so much. I want this for you so badly. xoxoxoxo

BTW ..... my word verification was radpg .... which obviously means 'rad pregnancy'!!

Lisa said...

Okay, ES's Body, stop messing around and start making her feel pg ALL THE TIME.

I think your first beta was too early. Hoping to see an in-your-face rise with the next one.

Keep on hangin'!

Mr. & Mrs. M@sk said...

Honestly, mine didn't end well but they certainly can - and I really hope it does for you! xo

HeidiM said...

I'd say stick with the same brand. I am NO expert, but when I was temporarily prego, I had some brands come out positive sooner than others in my little POAS science project. And my symptoms came and went.

I just started reading your blog but I hope things work out!!

Melbagirl said...

I am going to pray for you tonight. I hope it works because I'm not very good at it; I should practise more.

Turkish proverb: "Things never go so well that one should have no fear, and never so ill that one should have no hope."

Thinking of you.

You will be strong

Bee Cee said...

Really hoping the 2nd Beta brings good news.

Fingers, toes and everything else crossed for you.

Joonie said...

More waiting? That's terrible!

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that even a little bit of HCG brings on pregnancy symptoms for me. I get symptoms from the trigger shot! So yes, you're still very much in the game.

Good luck!

Morrisa said...

I wish I knew what to say. This is my first IVF cycle so I'm no help. I have been thinking about you like crazy! When is your second beta?

Wordgirl said...

I will be thinking and wishing and hoping for you...and no worries about commenting -- I'm lucky if I emerge from under the covers -- covered in potato chip crumbs...

Let this be the cycle!!!


Pam

Kenya said...

I wish the best for you, truly.

sara said...

Purgatory is a perfect way to put it. I definitely hope you have a great ending to your story. In the meantime I'll be putting all my Sara superpowers into trying to get your beta to skyrocket upwards. Hang in there, I'm thinking of you!

Knock Me Up said...

I'm so sorry -- what a horrible place to be. I'm really hoping this turns into a great place to be and quickly darn it!

Sassy said...

Bugger. *fingers crossed*

Katie said...

Wishing and hoping for a miracle.

Super O said...

Waiting is difficult, no doubt. The best thing you can do is distract yourself, and probably stay away from blogging!! I'm keeping my figures crossed for you tomorrow!!