It's official. I have become my worst nightmare!
I went to a friend's place on Friday night, for a cocktail party where a dull woman undersold the many merits of very expensive plasticware. There was about a dozen women all known to my friend through their children's school, then myself and another friend. I should have known. I shouldn't have gone in the first place. The conversation was all babies and children. I was coping, barely, until a woman near me started to talk about how her 6 month old was born despite her husband having had a vasectomy. The other women huddled around, including my two friends, making comments like "oh you poor thing", "you should sue" and "if I fell pregnant again I would just die". And then it happened... I started crying and had to leave the room. I hid in a bedroom, and the tears just wouldn't stop.
K1 and K2 are my closest friends and we have known each other for 15+ years. They are the only friends who know that DH and I are doing IVF. Both of them are Social Workers, but their reactions couldn't have been more different. K2 came looking for me and apologised for her insensitivity, she said she hadn't put herself in my shoes before and it only just occurred to her that moments like that might be hard for me. She sat and talked with me while I cried. K1, the host of the party, was immensely pissed off and kept coming into the room looking for things then going out again leaving the door wide open. I don't know if she was jealous that K2 and I were doing something without her or if she was just uncomfortable with the open display of emotions. I didn't bother to ask. The next morning we went out for breakfast and K1 announced that we should go to Phu.ket for a week early next year, in celebration of us all turning 40, and because "its the first time in 10 years that none of us are pregnant or breastfeeding".
Does everyone else have trouble maintaining friendships IRL? Should I try to explain things, ask for more support and sensitivity from them, or just let it go? Its so hard. I wouldn't cope at all if it wasn't for my soul mate, my darling husband. And you guys are just brilliant, you always comment with love and are a great support to me, even when you are having a tough time yourselves. Yet my RL friends won't even ring me in the next few weeks to check if I'm ok. Perhaps I am too high maintenance for them now?