Wednesday, 24 September 2008

Insanity

If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Then this my friends is insane!

I am starting another cycle. Lucky 13.

Just waiting for the witch to make her appearance then I'm starting on the horrid Pill. If all goes well, embryo transfer should be in early November. The only change from last time is that we are adding Embryo Biopsy to the list of expenses. My Doctor moonlights as a nerdy scientist, so he wants to be able to understand and explain the implantation failure. The most likely culprit at my 'advanced' age is a chromosomal abnormality of the embryo. If nothing else, the biopsy may give us some answers and help us make some decisions about what to do next.

I'm feeling quite negative about the whole thing really. I think I'm preparing myself for the biopsy revealing bad news. Confirming once and for all that my eggs are old and crap and to continue would be useless. I probably need to hear this but I don't want to.

11 comments:

Stacie said...

I want to believe that 13 is the lucky number--is that alright if I do? I want this so badly for you!

Topcat said...

Lucky 13 indeed. I want this so badly for you, too. SO mofo badly.

Louise thank you so very much for the comments that you leave for me. I think you are f*cking awesome.

xoxoxoxox

Melanie said...

You are doing everything right and my hope is that this will give you the answers you need; either the very best answer possible or something else definitive that will help you determine where to go next. Struggling through the uncertainty and unknowing of infertility ranks right up there (or down there) as their own special layer of hell. Hang in. I believe in this for you.

Wordgirl said...

Louise -- I love that your name is Louise...and that I KNOW your name -- I have felt so close to you -- your comments, as TC said, mean so much -- and are so thoughtful...and I am cheering you on here -- cheering and cheering.

I know how fraught this journey can be -- I'm here reading and thinking of you.

XO

Pam

andi said...

Hey great news - we will be going together my dear. I want to joing the Louise fan club toooo.
x

sara said...

I will go against the grain and think that 13 is going to be your lucky number. I like the number 13 - I was born on Friday the 13th :-) I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and I so want this darn cycle to work for you!

Kenya said...

Try to still remain positive.

Mrs M@sk said...

I actually believe 13 is a lucky number :-) I assume the biopsy is PGD? YAY to being cycle buddies xo

Joonie said...

Keeping my fingers crossed for you for this cycle!

Lots of Hugs,
Joonie

Topcat said...

Lovely Louise. You rock. I'm printing off the last few comments to give to hubbie .... thank you so very much, God I appreciate it.

Thinking of you this month, and hope everything is going well.
XOXOXOXOX

Kenya said...

Try to stay positive and not believe in the term 'advanced' age.