Silver Lining

We had an amnio done two weeks ago.

I have been quiet about it because I wasn't sure I would go through with it even as I arrived for the appointment. I know a lot of you advised me not to bother, but in the end I couldn't ignore the fact that IVF clinic recommended it, the doctor who did the NT testing recommended it and my OB recommended it as well.

The full results have come back this week as NORMAL.

The procedure was done at the same ultrasound clinic where the NT testing was done, and by the same doctor who guided us through that. She called us her difficult patients because she knew our IVF history and would have preferred not to do the amnio as well, but she assured us she had performed thousands of these procedures and the clinic's risk ratio for miscarriage was 1 in 250. The procedure itself felt just like a needle prick and nothing more. I had a few little cramps that night but nothing to get hysterical over.

DH and I did a fair amount of soul searching over what we would do with an abnormal result. DH spoke to a friend of his who has a son with Muscular Dystrophy and asked if he knew J had this before he was born would they have continued with the pregnancy, without hesitation he said yes. So again, you might ask, why go through with a risky procedure? I guess the answer lies in my response to the result. The doctor rang me in the morning at work, I was insanely busy that day but as I was preparing to go home I caught a glimpse of my bump in the bathroom mirror and grinned like a fool. I then went out to my husband and promptly burst into tears. "Our baby is okay. Everything is going to be okay." I guess I was holding on to more anxiety than I thought.

I am now 18 weeks. I am hugely, obviously pregnant and my first stretch marks have made their appearance. I could care less - seriously - bring 'em on! I am almost 40 but I am finally pregnant! We are almost half way and I think I can see the silver lining. I am yet to feel any movement, or at least anything that I recognise as movement. I have been told this may occur later for me because the placenta is at the front of the uterus.

Sorry to have gone awol for so long, for some reason I have lost control at work which has thrown everything totally off kilter. I have missed so many of your posts but will do my best to catch up.