Hello. My name is Louise.
I have cancer.
I noticed some swelling in my armpit about 3 weeks ago but didn't think much of it. I knew I had a breast screen appointment on January 27th so I thought I'd mention it then. By then it felt like a hard lump, maybe a bit smaller than a golf ball. The breast specialist scheduled another ultrasound and a needle biopsy of my lymph nodes for February 9th. Two days later the lymph node(s) was the size of a tennis ball and a huge lump had appeared under my collar bone. I rang the specialist again and she did the needle biopsy herself yesterday morning. The results came back as "Atypical", so I had a core biopsy yesterday afternoon to get a bigger tissue sample. She rang with the results today. Cancer. Melanoma. The pathologist checked twice.
We don't have a lot of information yet, but par for the course with me there is a kicker. The kicker is that the cancer in my lymph nodes is a secondary cancer and we don't know where the primary cancer is. And therefore how advanced it is.
I am booked in for some scary bloody radioactive body scan on Friday to help find the sucker. Then hopefully next week I will have surgery again to cut it out and remove the lymph nodes.
I can't get the image of ugly black cancer cells multiplying in my armpit out of my head.
The speed at which this thing appeared scares the fuck out of me.
The fact that I have a six month old daughter scares the fuck out of me.
I want to be there when she gets married, I want to be there when she has a baby of her own.
Infertility kicked my arse but did not beat me. Cancer will not beat me.